there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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