So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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