have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
