you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
