I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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