I'm drive I can fine osifer
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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