dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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