I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
