She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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