Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
