operation harelip BJ is a go
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
FUCK WHALES
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
