I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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