my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
