You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
