I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
