dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
