If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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