hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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