lets start a swedish sibling band together
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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