just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
