saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
