she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
