I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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