God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize