good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
