Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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