Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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