how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
