The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
