I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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