The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
