Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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