TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
