I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
