Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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