When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize