You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
