ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
