I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
