He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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