My sheets look like a crime scene.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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