Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize