Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
