i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
