I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
a search helicopter?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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