So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
