roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
