He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
