i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
