Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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