I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
