Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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