Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
