Screwed.edu
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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