dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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