her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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