I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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