Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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