My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
