My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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