considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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