Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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