I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
