while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
