scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
