is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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