ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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